Come play card against humanity with us!

http://pyx-1.socialgamer.net/game.jsp#game=24
Password is “ayylmao”


(Source: pleatedjeans)


(Source: missmagikarp)

dangering:

My mum said dinner was ready and I went into the kitchen and it wasn’t even ready I’m sick of all these lies, its tearing our family apart

(Source: swinq)

grimelords:

Telling the substitute teacher the wrong names: a classic. Telling the substitute teacher you are so old and born again every day, that ten thousand names could never define you, that you’re a shadowed mass swirling forth from jupiter, that your father is time and your mother is death, that you’ll swallow any scream of hers as you grow larger and ever larger: a super classic, king of the school, no homework ever.

thespacegoat:

straight girls tho, do you ever get confused by your sexuality because not only do men suck but also like 90% of women are fucking bombshells and only like 20% of men are like most chicks could pass for models and most men could pass for bridge trolls i mean wow

turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

ezekestiel:

voldemo:

voldemo:

My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian 

its like ive never seen herbivore

i sighed so loud my mom asked me if i was okay and she’s two rooms away


sourhex:

On the other hand, my nose flaring abilities are pretty good

For some reason I thought about this a lot as a kid

twinkletwinkleyoulittlefuck:

cell-mate:

crackerhell:

ethanwearsprada:

i think it’s a universal truth that everyone in our generation takes pluto’s losing its planetary status as a personal offense

yes

pluto is smaller than russia. why did we ever even consider it a planet?

BECAUSE IT’S A PART OF OUR SOLAR SYSTEM

OHANA MEANS FAMILY

OHANA MEANS NO ONE IS LEFT BEHIND


fairyfoolishness:

i find it unsettling that this is a gif set

(Source: captainwright)

nge:

hey yall! (if youre not southern you probably cant read this)

ex0skeletal:

Fun shark attack facts:

  • In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
  • For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.

Conclusions:

  1. Humans are assholes.
  2. Sharks are not assholes.
  3. Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.

frejskamavor:

on a scale of fake pockets to nachos how good is your idea

(Source: sanastark)