Come play card against humanity with us!
Password is “ayylmao”
My mum said dinner was ready and I went into the kitchen and it wasn’t even ready I’m sick of all these lies, its tearing our family apart
Telling the substitute teacher the wrong names: a classic. Telling the substitute teacher you are so old and born again every day, that ten thousand names could never define you, that you’re a shadowed mass swirling forth from jupiter, that your father is time and your mother is death, that you’ll swallow any scream of hers as you grow larger and ever larger: a super classic, king of the school, no homework ever.
straight girls tho, do you ever get confused by your sexuality because not only do men suck but also like 90% of women are fucking bombshells and only like 20% of men are like most chicks could pass for models and most men could pass for bridge trolls i mean wow
i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed
i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police
My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian
its like ive never seen herbivore
i sighed so loud my mom asked me if i was okay and she’s two rooms away
On the other hand, my nose flaring abilities are pretty good
For some reason I thought about this a lot as a kid
i think it’s a universal truth that everyone in our generation takes pluto’s losing its planetary status as a personal offense
pluto is smaller than russia. why did we ever even consider it a planet?
BECAUSE IT’S A PART OF OUR SOLAR SYSTEM
OHANA MEANS FAMILY
OHANA MEANS NO ONE IS LEFT BEHIND
hey yall! (if youre not southern you probably cant read this)
Fun shark attack facts:
- In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
- In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
- In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
- For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.
- Humans are assholes.
- Sharks are not assholes.
- Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.