sasstiel-has-arrived:

TODAY IN CLASS THIS CHICK WAS PASSING OUT A PACKET AND SHE JUST THREW MINE AT ME AND I SAID “Yo don’t fuckin throw that shit at me like I’m a stripper.” AND EVERYONE AROUND ME JUST STARED AT ME AND I REALIZED THAT ITS BC THATS THE FIRST THING IVE SAID IN CLASS SINCE I CAME TO THIS SCHOOL AND JFC

larrycoincidences:

whenever i get low on money i start thinking really irrationally like what if i hadn’t spent that $10 back in 2004 


robbvious:

Wesley in the car, a short story

itssexualhour:

So I went over to my boyfriend’s house tonight, and we decided to go night swimming. Well, we were kissing and grinding and all that in the pool and suddenly he just hugs me to him and says ‘I love you, and I’m glad you’re mine’ and when he said that I leaned in towards his ear and said ‘mine’ in the same voice as those seagulls from Finding Nemo and then he did it back and we basically sat in the pool shouting ‘MINE!’ at each other for a solid minute.

(Source: itssexualhour)


boootygod:

lmfaooo

(Source: kittiezandtittiez)

sernacht:

So, I was in the car today and saw someone with the license plate “X0DUS3 5”, so I thought it was like Exodus 3:5 and I looked it up, and do you know what it said?

"Do not come any closer"

sluttynuggets:

aphtaiwan:

johnhamishmorstan:

I don’t understand american school years what the fuck is a freshman or a sophomore why do you have these words instead of the numbers

what why would you use numbers

so IT FUCKING MAKES SENSE WHAT THE HELL IS A SOFT MOORE OR A FRESH MAN WHY ARE THE MEN FRESH

(Source: vexingholmes)

dragonstars:

making your friend watch a horrible movie that you have already seen

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internetexplorers:

“you’re like a son to me”

“dad, i am your son”

1,740,669 plays

annimate:

doctorprincess:

blutunez:

image

oh my fuckign god

HOW

D-DOES WHAT

HOW DOES IT SYNC UP SO WELL WHAT

(Source: )

guy:

when someone keeps trying to take a pic of u when u already said no

image

(Source: guy)

pornoes:

like tbqh i have never seen a movie. *drinks green tea* i only watch films.

whatdat:

when you ask the teacher for help but they just read the question over to you.
image